So, if I haven't let it slip, I quit my job at the pizza place I was working at.
I am putting real time and effort into throwing myself into the art thing. I figure that I must chase the ONE dream I've allowed myself to have before I get to old, too sick and/or too dead.
Well... I have a lot to learn, still, as I have not been able to devote the time and effort (and money) to actually studying it in the past, what?, 22 years? I'm self taught and have been coasting on 'raw talent' for far too long. Raw talent and 5 bucks'll get you a cup of coffee, right? Not even.
I wish to moved beyond webcomics. Sequential has been somewhat of an obsession, but it has not been as good to me as I wish it was. I would shut down my website, but, that's where my primary e-mail has been for the past 3 years. Perhaps I will simply retool and/or make it invisible.
There's going to be so much work ahead of me, but, I am confident that now that I am able to set my mind to it with fewer distractions, I can achieve SOMETHING in the end.
I am overjoyed to have the love and support of a good woman who believes in me.
I can't tell you how good that feels just in general after the life I've led of "less than ideal" family and fairweather friends. I think that Yesterday, just before 4:30 PM marks the happiest I've been in the last decade. LITERALLY. I was shown just how much she believes in me. (A story for another time.)
Still, it was the first time in a long while that I smiled genuinely and from the heart and all the pressures and depression and self-loathing and doubt melted away. I believe that I can do this. I believe in myself because she believes in me. Even if I fail. Even if a year from now I am back to working some minimum wage food service gig, I will be able to say that I gave chasing my dreams a real shot, and my girl believed in me, and I can die happy.
Now, beyond that, I have plenty of changes to make. I have so much to learn. As I said, I'm self-taught. I've been drawing, inking and coloring my comics the same way for over 15 years. I don't feel that I have moved forward or progressed since the day I discovered non-repro blue pencil leads back in 2002! I have only just a few days ago learned the most basic method of vector art. I eventually want to learn speedpainting and all that good stuff. I am going to put the sequential comics making on the back-burner and concentrate on pinups and poster art. Comics will always be one of my first loves, but, I'm getting nowhere with it right now.
I need to put a lot more focus in the writing side of things, first of all.
I have a lot of work ahead of me in order to become a professional freelancer. I have a few plans in play to sell some of the work I've already done. A bit of art cleanup and I have the tools and content to print out one or two short comics. I am also working on a coloring book.
I have a Patreon: ( www.patreon.com/Anthillustrato…
I am not sure of the proper content to display, however, as I don't usually draw smut, and that seems to be what Patreon is FOR, these days. I guess that's another thing I'm gonna have to work on. I have no problems with doing that, but, I need to work on my anatomy before I commit to it. (Not that badly drawn nude anatomy has stopped anyone else from producing or enjoying smut, before.)
I'm two days from my 44th birthday, and, I guess maybe my mid-life crisis is in full swing. I've been trying to establish an online presence for quite a while, but to no avail. I've had only a handful of loyal followers and collaborators over the years. No one was really paying attention to my website. I only seemed to become a blip on the radar when partaking in a jam or crossover project. In the last two decades, I've been into the furry community, the webcomics community and the superhero community. They were all fun and garnered me a few friends and followers through each phase, but, nothing permanent really came of it. Also, it seems that I, in turn, all but completely ditched each genre for the next, effectively limiting myself as a graphic artist. I aim to undo that.
I've gone through more internet handles and user nicknames than I can count, always trying to reinvent myself. It's a bad habit I have, trying to keep control of the few things in life that I was able to control by way of a different name. I've gone by my own (middle) name for over a decade now, in order to be more 'official', but honestly, that hasn't really gotten me anywhere or "cemented my brand" or any of that, so, I think I'm gonna go another way with a different name. Something more fun.
Which brings me to the content that I've already have posted here.
I am far too scattered online, especially here on DeviantArt. I have Xailenrath-Comics
, which I had decided to use to house designs and first looks at my webcomics projects, but, seem to only be using for the Bust Shots project these days. Particularly if I am going to put sequential comics on the back burner, and even I have lost interest in the Bust Shots thing, I really no longer need that account.
This account, Xailenrath
, which I've had since the day I had my name legally changed 13 years ago, was supposed to be for random pinups and posters and non-sequential stuff. I have made a lot of connections through this one, but most of those are with other creators into superheroes. Which brings me to Xailenrath-Universe
That's where I'm keeping all my superhero stuff these days. It started out as a group, back when one had to go through a weird process to make a DA group. I did that wrong, so, I wound up with another superfluous account that I repurposed to house all my superhero stuff.
Honestly, I'm thinking that all these accounts have to go. A lot of good memories, a few bad and evidence that my art skills have not moved forward as fast or as far as I'd like. It will take a while to download all the useful and loved stuff that I've made, but in the coming weeks and months, these 3 accounts will be deleted.
will stay active. I haven't finished with them yet. I am still paying for their websitewww.misfitsofmischief.com/
to exist, so my reality hopping shapeshifting drunken demigods will be around for a while.
Meanwhile, I have already updated and reworked all my social media into the newer brand. Instagram is actually giving me more accolades and feedback in just the dozen scribbles that I've posted there in the last week than I've gotten in the last 6 months on DeviantArt. Despite a lot of the things other artists tend to complain about, I don't dislike DA. I've been here a long, long time, and for better or worse, I am invested in this art site. That, and so many others like SheezyArt and Storm-Artists have taken the big dirtnap. I'll be here for a while... but, I am not going to be so DEEPLY invested in DA as I used to be.
A lot of my close personal IRL friends have abandoned this place. My online friends have their own things going. DA is no longer the hub of my art/social life that it once was. If I am going to concentrate on my artistic life, maybe it's time for DeviantArt to be just another place that I keep copies of my finished pics while I try to make my cartoons pay.
For those wondering about what the new username is and how to see the new stuff, just look around. My art still looks the same... for the moment. My eyes are still too big, and I am still big on drawing earlobe plugs, neckties, hockey jerseys and wireframe glasses. If you're looking for me, you'll find me.